I went to the first preview of "The Little Mermaid" tonight.
"The Little Mermaid" is a film beloved by children of all ages. And those classic songs: Under the Sea? Part of Your World? Everyone loves those songs. Why you could probably dress Ariel's friend Flounder in a baggy yellow shirt and shorts, make the set out of a couple of pieces of plexiglass, and even rewrite the ending that makes very little sense, but as long as you have those songs to give the audience as touchstones, and of course use at least one in the finale, the audience will love it. Well, they (Disney) did and they (the audience) do.
Let's start with the set and the costumes. They hired the set and costume designer who last worked on the critically reviled Kirov "Ring Cycle." Needless to say, their work here is on par with their "Ring" work. The mermaid have tails sticking out of their butts. Sebastian is wearing a red suit and top hat, with some red tubes sticking off. Flounder gets a baggy yellow shirt and baggy yellow shorts. The other aquatic life are dressed in unattractively colored spandex body suits, with lots of sparkles. The set looks like it was made entirely out of cheap plastic. The water is wavey plastic. There's a giant sculpture that looks remarkably like a giant bottle opener (you know, the kind with the arms that go up as the screw goes into the cork?), that opens up during musical numbers to turn into something that looks like a ride from Disneyland. It's all very sparse. Cheap looking. And sparse. And unattractive. The lighting, by Natasha Katz, is basically just random splashes of color. Ah, such creativity.
The "swimming" is accomplished by giving the actors heelys (sneakers with wheels in the heel). I can't say I really understand the concept. So basically, "swimming" involves walking fast enough to get some momentum, and then moving to roll on your heels. Uh huh.... Oh, and remember how the motto for this production was no water, no wires? Well, there's no water but, surprise surprise, there are in fact two scenes (Eric's drowning, and Ariel's transformation) that use wires for a swimming effect. And guess what? Those are only two times where I was actually impressed by the special effects. Oh, did I mention Ursula didn't get heelys? I guess Sherie Rene Scott doesn't roller skate too well. As punishment though, they took away her legs. So she walks by sort of waddling (except when she's rolled on and off stage on a platform), and to dance she just wiggles her hips and the tentacles on her dress jiggle.
Speaking of the dancing, Stephen Mears' choreography is uninspired. So uninspired that I have nothing else to say about it.
Alan Menken's new songs are fine. I didn't leave humming any of them, not that they had a fair chance against the classics, but I enjoyed listening to them, and I look forward to the new cast recording. I did have some minor problems with some of the lyrics for said new songs. In a melodically rather nice song in the second act, we get cringe inducing lines that go something like "I wish I could pull a cure out of thin water" or "I'd wave my claw and make this all go away." Maybe if the song was going for comedy I might not have cringed so much, but it was a serious song, and that sort of underwater cheese just didn't seem right for the moment.
As for the book, the show sticks pretty close to the movie, plotwise, until near the end. Instead of having Ursula come back to marry Prince Eric, we get a singing contest that's basically a singing version of Cinderella's Prince's search for the glass slipper: Eric hears a group of girls sings and hopes to hear Ariel's voice from one of them. When they all fail though...
(*BEGINNING OF (NEW) PLOT SPOILERS*) Ariel dances because as we learned in an earlier song, dancing is another form of communication, and so Ariel's dancing is just as good as if she had sung. Or some such drivel. Of course, the whole Ariel and Eric thing is too late, and Ariel is taken back to Ursula's lair, and things continue as in the movie. Now there was some backstory given in act one, that Poseiden gave Triton his trident, and Ursula a magic shell, and that's the source of their power. But if Ursula's shell breaks, she dies. So, as in the movie, Triton gives his soul for Ariel's. Then, somehow Eric's boat goes over Ursula's lair (because it's not deep in the ocean, but close to the surface where he can see???), and this distracts Ursula long enough for Ariel to grab the shell. Then eventually Ariel breaks the shell and Ursula dies. Now I had a number of problems with this. First, was how the boat got to the lair. But second... why, if Ursula had the Triton's trident, didn't that replace the power of the shell? I just didn't understand why Ursula still needed the shell after she had the trident. And of course, Doug Wright didn't care to explain it, none of the little girls in the audience cared because it was the end of the show and they were about to get another reprise of "Part of Your World," and so anyone who was trying to prick the surface of the story was left in the dark (*END OF SPOILERS*)
As for the performances, I was very impressed with everyone. Sierra Boggess has a lovely voice, and makes for a lovely Ariel. Sean Palmer does generic handsome prince quite well. And Sheri Rene Scott, who is totally different from the movie Ursula (Pat Caroll) was quite amusing in the part. And thankfully not anywhere near as scary as Pat Caroll otherwise I might have had nightmares.
Anyway, as you can see, the show is artistically on par with "Tarzan." The difference is that "The Little Mermaid" is a far far better movie than "Tarzan," with a much larger and more passionate fan base. So despite the fact that the show was visually hideous, and the ending mangled, the show includes great songs, and when Ariel and Eric walk out at the end, and the whole cast sings "Part of Your World," well even the most hard hearted person can't help but smile and get a little teary eyed. I mean, the fact of the matter is, Disney could have installed an ice rink on the stage of the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, and presented "The Little Mermaid: On Ice (on Broadway)" and audiences would have been happy. I suppose they wanted to get another "Lion King" (kiddie show with snob appeal), but in that respect they failed. So in the end, despite the fact that the entire creative team should be blacklisted from the stage for this travesty, the show is still, against all odds, actually enjoyable. Despite the very bumpy ride, you still get well sung live renditions of beloved songs, interwoven into a sort of compelling story. Hey, here's an idea - just go to the show and sit there the whole time with your eyes closed. Then it'd be even better!
And so in the end, though Zambello et al tried to drown "The Little Mermaid" in their pretentious and awful production, the fact is that mermaids live under water and so you can't actually drown them. And so "The Little Mermaid" survives to entertain another day.
My prediction? Pans from the critics, no Tonys, and it'll run for years.
After which Disney can revive "Beauty and the Beast." Hey! There's my title. After all... the source material is a beauty, and the production is a beast!
